Alex. She/Her. Unapologetically obsessed Stan Rogers, ships, and mountain dwarves. Am far too short and dastardly for my own good.
header by @apardonablemonomania
So there’s this plastic turtle we have outside our school that tells cars to slow down. My kids have always asked me why I don’t have a husband, and I got tired of telling them because I didn’t want one, so I pointed to him and said, “That dude. That’s my husband.”
This has been a running joke for two years now. All the kids know the plastic turtle outside the school is my husband. He doesn’t have a name, just Miss Cat’s husband.
Today was really windy, and the turtle dude fell over. I was taking a kid out to his mom, and he saw it on the ground and went, “Oh look, your husband died.”
So I said, “Oh darn. Looks like I’m single again.”
And without skipping a beat, he goes, “I’ll be your husband.”
Mom is standing there trying not to laugh as I got down on my knees, took the kid’s hands in mine, and said, “Thanks for the offer, bud, but no thank you. We’ll just pick that guy up so he can start being my husband again.”
So the kid runs over, picks the turtle up, and goes “Good morning, husband! You’re not dead anymore. Good job.”
Fun Fact: the movie The Birds was originally a light hearted drama comedy, but then local birds heard about how many chickens Alfred Hitchcock would eat in a day and they just started Acting Like That
